Funny

Funny

Funny

Funny

Good morning to you all,

Steptoes yard has now been cleared thank god, I can now get out in my front garden and tidy it up. I really dislike my front garden looking such a mess. I was always told by my granddad that peoples front gardens will tell you a story about the occupant (obviously something i’ve never forgotten). He will be turning in his grave god bless him if he see the state of my garden today. I truly loved my granddad and miss him immensely.

On a similar note, It was lovely to receive an offer of help to sort my shed roof out. I have graciously accepted the offer and it will be fixed this morning, in-fact in an hours time which is great news and i’m truly grateful for the help.

Well people, it’s going to be a hot one today! I wonder how many of you will call in sick and enjoy the sun. Don’t forget your suncream especially on those bits that don’t get exposure that often.

Have a great day!

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Photo by Oladimeji Ajegbile from Pexels

Here is a little something sent into me some days ago for inclusion to my Blog. Let’s hope you enjoy it.

 

Funny

 

I thought I would share an experience of internet dating  

 

I arranged a date online late at night and admittedly I felt a bit pissed but I felt a connection with this girl Lucy. 

I was so excited it was like talking to my self we liked the same things we had so much in common that we arranged a no strings meeting at a Coffee Shop. When we got there, I lost a contact lens then our eyes met across a crowded room and she looked at me wide eyed and open mouthed. She had great skin almost translucent.  

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I looked at her and she remained wide eyed and open mouthed. But she said nothing she sat there open mouthed, and every so often I heard this noise wheeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrttttttttt 

I bought her a coffee, but she just sat there open mouthed with arms outstretched. I thought she was obviously nervous she didn’t touch her coffee Then that noise again wheeeeeerrrrrrrrt  

. I became concerned so I called an Ambulance was she breathing she appeared to be albeit opened mouth but there was a delay for them to attend so I called a cab. I picked her up in my arms and got up to leave and she appeared to crumple. Then that noise again wheeeeeeertttttttt p p p p p . I thought she was upset as the meeting had not gone well. I called a cab and I escorted her to the ER. 

We got to hospital and I was laughed out of the place.  

Well that was the last time I left my phone unlocked around teenagers & definitely my last date with an inflatable woman

Jx

Thank to Jx for their submission, Please keep sending your bits and pieces for inclusion to my blog. Your submissions can be on anything thats interesting, you decide and always with anonymity. Simply send via email to contact@femalemasseuse.co.uk

Have a great day and hopefully I will see you all soon.

Take care of you and yours,

Sue x

I have a  Subscription Plan for all, just choose the right one for you and gain entry to my VIP gallery were you will get to enjoy all my Erotic professional and cheeky pic shoots. Thank you for your continued support x

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