I sympathise with your situation and please try to shield your children as much as possible, I’m not sure if I’m the lady to ask about this…
You see, I am a very open minded lady with a different mindset than most ladies of my era. Now that you have emailed me your question, here are my views on this subject, but sadly, I don’t think you will like what I’m going to say, but please give my words some thought.
Firstly, let’s brake it down-
There is always a reason why people act and do the things they do!
Have you sat down calmly and asked why your husband why he feels the need to seeks cyber sex? If you have, maybe he feels the need to lie to you because of the reactions that may follow. You need to listen to him without judging him because of the way you feel and try to keep an open mind about what he is saying.
Then you have to ask yourself a few questions, Do you have a regular sex life?, Are you both open with each other about your likes and dislikes? Has your sex life become flat and boring?
I believe strongly that when you enter into a marriage or partnership, you both have to work at it and this means the sex side of things too. The missionary position will only last for so long before one of you needs more. We are humans and sex isn’t just about making babies, Sex should be full of adventure and fun.
Do you honestly believe your husband is cheating? Ok, he’s has sought out cyber sex, but for him, he probably doesn’t see this as cheating, he probably see this as a way of sexual relief. He hasn’t gone looking for the warm embrace of a lady and actually had sex or built a relationship with a lady.
In my mind, he hasn’t cheated and I think you need to look at this in a different way if you want to keep your marriage going. As long as he’s not having cyber sex every night of the week ,as this can become an addiction, then I don’t think you have a major problem.
Your husband obviously loves you but he has sexual needs and instead of having an affair, he has chosen cyber sex.
Don’t throw your marriage away because of this, you both need to be real and honest with each other to resolve your issues. If you both want your marriage to work, I am sure, if you are both honest about your needs you will find a way through this.
Try to make the atmosphere at home light for the sake of your family and try not to scream and shout at each other as this won’t solve anything. Choose a time with no family around to just sit and talk with each other and keep talking as this is the key.
Don’t give up on your marriage.
Linda, I wish you and your family all the best and pray you and your husband will both find your way back to each other.