By now my brain is somewhat confused, whats going on? have I, yet again been fed a load of lies? I’m trying to question but the answers come, he’s not like that, he’s genuine, but he likes me, we are on the same page, we had the start of something magical, didn’t we?
Another day passes and because I always think of the good in people and make excuses for them, I’m telling myself, “don’t worry, he’s not like that”. “He’s a nice genuine guy who wants the same as me, we are partners”.
The day had come and gone and still I hadn’t heard from him. Trying to protect my fragile state, I decided to accept he was never going to text me. I had once again been lied to, used and hurt for his self gratification.
I’m a worldly women with broad shoulders so, If he had decided in the morning he had made a mistake or that I wasn’t what he wanted, why wouldn’t he have said something? He could have sent at the least a one liner, that would have sufficed.
Yes that would have been brutal but, you can’t beat honesty! To blatantly ignore me and treat me with such contempt is enormous and hurts more than words can explain. I’ve been left in a state of confusion and now believe once more, i’m not good enough for anyone.
At 8.15pm I send this text
“I’m getting the distinct impression that you are ignoring me which isn’t a great feeling, especially after what was said and happened between us on Wednesday. I’m guessing you’ve had a change of heart. I may look and act strong but i’m really not, you’ve hurt me. so thanks for that. At the very least you could have said something. Don’t worry, I’m not one for drama and understand i’m obviously not what you want. It would have been nice to have been treated with a little respect though. Take care XXXX, I won’t bother you again and wish you well. x”
You guessed it! Again, NO reply…
The sad thing is, I can see he’s read my messages, I can see when he’s been on the platform so I ask, why would anybody do this to someone?
Just thought this morning I would reach out one last time using my phone to text this time, wrongly or rightly. as I said I wouldn’t contact him again. Just to say, “at the very least we are friends but please say something even if it’s F**k off!” but again, no reply!
I’m left hanging, what did I do wrong? I don’t know… Maybe I have this invisible sign on my forehead saying “feel free to use me as your whipping post”!
I’ve felt myself start to spiral down again as rejection hits home loud and clear. It’s not a fun place to be, I can assure you.