Sue’s Agony Posts 29

Sue’s Agony Posts 29

Sue’s Agony Posts 29

Sue's Agony Posts 29, Sue’s Agony Posts 29, Full Body Massage Service


Sue's Agony Posts 29, Sue’s Agony Posts 29, Full Body Massage Service

Sue’s Agony Posts

Hello readers,

Crikey it’s been ages since i’ve received a question from yourselves, but thankfully, I received this question yesterday for Sue’s Agony Post on the subject of lost sexual desire towards his wife.

Please keep emailing your questions on any topic, they are all welcome and needed for Sue’s Agony Posts!

This is completely anonymous and all you need to do is send me your question via email to signing it with a username of your choice. I will reply to you through Sue’ Agony Posts at my earliest convenience.

I will endeavour to answer all your questions from my vast worldly experiences of life and if your question is of a type where research is needed, I will do my best to try to discover the right answers for you.

Hi ya Sue,

Some advice if you wouldn’t mind. I’ve been married for 10 yrs and we dated for 3 yrs before. When we got married she was a size 12 and she cared about herself and her appearance. Now after 10 years of marriage and 2 kids later, she has really let herself go. She’s a good wife and mother, making sure the house is sorted and the kids have what they need. I’m ashamed to say, now when I look at her, I don’t find her attractive at all. We get on well and do things as a family like most which brings me to my question.


A few weeks ago, my wife made a sexual pass at me and I ignored it. Sex between us hasn’t happened for at least 2 yrs or so and this came out of the blue. I can’t reciprocate as I don’t fancy her sexual at all. Mainly because of the size of her and the way she doesn’t care about her appearance from one day to the next. It’s not as if she doesn’t have money to go to the gym or buy some makeup, she doesn’t care.

I do care about her, she’s my wife and the mother of my children, I just really do not fancy her sexually. I don ‘t even think I would get a stirring in my manhood to be able to have sex with her, if you know what I mean, she doesn’t do it for me anymore.

I don’t want to hurt her and I know this needs to be addressed, but how do I do that?

How do I tell her I don’t want sex with her?

Some words of wisdom would be great right now Sue, I’m sure she will make advances again soon.



Thank you for your question on such a delicate situation. I don’t have all the answers but I will try and advise you from a women’s perspective.

It’s always sad when I hear things like this and believe me, I hear lots of similar remarks from both men and women.

As you haven’t broached this subject with your wife before, i’m guessing you find it difficult to be open and honest with each-other. In this case, try the subtle approach first.

Pick up some leaflets or print off some information from your local gym and leave them on the table so she will see them. This should start a conversation on the subject of loosing weight and getting fit. Maybe tell her it’s something you can do together, trying to encourage her into seeing what you see.

If the response your wanting isn’t there, then it’s time for that conversation and I know from your email, it’s going to be difficult. These conversations are never easy when you care about someone and don’t want to hurt them but in your case, I believe for the sake of your marriage, it needs to be said.

Pick your moment when you’re both alone and tell her you need to have a chat. Take a deep breath because now you need to be honest. You don’t need to be brutal, your wife will be hurt with your honesty anyway.

Start by asking her if there is anything causing her anxiety as to why she’s give-up caring about herself. She will probably be in denial and ask you “what do you mean?”

From here you can say, you’ve noticed how much weight she has gained and it seems you don’t care about yourself anymore. Her brain will now go into overdrive and depending on her reaction i.e aggressive and angry or hurt and tearful you can then take the next step.

Sometimes women will act aggressive and angry to coverup their real feelings, pain and being found out. Others will be hurt and tearful because they already know and don’t know what to do.

Wrap your words up kindly and and tell her the truth about how you really feel. Tell her you care about her and want to help her. Make her feel loved and secure, but at the same time, telling her that things need to change.

Once the dust has settled, 99% of women in this situation will try to change and address the situation because now her eyes have been opened and she will see what you see. They will try to do their upmost to repair their marriage and make their partner want them they way they used to.

Hang in there and help her to achieve the weight loss and i’m sure you will fancy your wife sexually once more.

I hope my comments have helped and enlighten you a little.

I know being honest with such a personal dilemma as yours isn’t easy when you care about the other persons feelings, but saying nothing is worse.

Good luck and I hope it all works out for you.

Sue x 

The key is to keep talking to each other, if something isn’t right how will your partner know!

My advise offered is for guidance purposes only

On a serious note, if I can’t offer you an answer, but if needed, I will try to put you in touch with the correct people who may be able to help.

I am not a medical professional and can only advise you from my wealth of life experiences and there has been so many… so for fun, why not ask away and lets see where this takes us.

Do you have a question for Sue’s Agony Posts?

Thank you for reading Sue’s Agony post.

Take care of you and yours,

Sue x

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Sue's Agony Posts 29, Sue’s Agony Posts 29, Full Body Massage Service


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