🌶️ Sue’s After-Dark Diaries – Episode 43

Sharon Has Gone Full System Failure

Reader Intro…

Welcome to Sue’s After-Dark Diaries – Episode 43, where Sharon said she’d “booked something,” which is usually the part where I stop assuming anything about the rest of my week will remain normal.

It wasn’t said in a way that invited discussion. More in a way that suggested discussion had already been ruled out.

Within a short space of time, it had also become something other people were aware of, which is never a good sign with Sharon.

I hadn’t agreed to anything beyond the sentence I was on the phone for.

But somehow that rarely matters once she’s decided there’s momentum.

Dan has been intermittently buzzing from the sofa, which is not helpful, but then again, it never really is.

Sharon Announces Her Appointment With Jake

I knew it was Sharon before I picked up.

There’s a particular way she calls. Like she’s already standing in the middle of something and I’ve just been summoned into it.

“I’ve done it,” she said.

I didn’t respond straight away. You learn not to.

“Done what?”

“I’ve booked Jake.”

Of course she has.

“You’ve booked him.”

“Yes. Thursday.”

She sounded pleased with herself. Properly pleased. Like she’d achieved something organised and impressive, rather than made a decision that now lives in my week without permission.

“You didn’t ask me,” I said.

“I didn’t need to.”

Dan buzzed.

I ignored it.

Sharon carried on anyway.

“I’ve told the group.”

That made me pause.

“You’ve told whom?”

“The community WhatsApp. They’re interested.”

Of course they are. They’re always interested until it requires effort.

“This isn’t a group activity,” I said.

“It is now,” she said.

No hesitation. Like she was correcting me rather than informing me.

I looked at the wall for a second.

“You’re basing this on what I said,” I added.

“Yes.”

That was the worst part. No misunderstanding. Just confidence.

“I just want to compare,” she said.

“No,” I said.

Too late. She was already past listening.

“I’ll report back.”

Click.

Buzz.

“Apparently I’m the only one reacting like words still mean things.”

Dan’s Protest Continues

Dan is on the sofa.

Same spot. Same angle. Like he’s been placed there and hasn’t questioned it since.

Sharon sends another message.

“Thursday confirmed.”

That’s it. Like I’m just meant to absorb it and continue functioning.

I put the phone face down.

Dan buzzes.

I don’t look.

He does it again a bit later. Same sound. Same nothing behind it.

I make tea I don’t even want.

From the hallway, Benji appears, looks into the room, then stops.

He takes in Dan. Me. The general situation.

Then quietly leaves again.

“No commentary. Sensible choice.”

Buzzzz

I glance at him this time. He’s exactly where he was before. No expression. No change. Just there.

I go back to the kettle.

It clicks off.

I pour the tea and don’t drink it straight away.

Buzzzz

I leave him where he is.

After all, it’s all his fault, and I think he knows it.

Sharon Live Reports From Jake’s Waiting Room

It’s that time. Sharon’s appointment.

It starts normal enough.

Too normal, actually, which is always a warning sign with Sharon.

Then the commentary starts.

“I’m here.”

I don’t reply.

Then immediately:

“He’s here.”

Then:

“OMG, Sue.”

I pause, then put the phone down for a second before picking it back up, like that might change the content.

Another message lands.

“You did NOT tell me he was that handsome.”

I stare at it.

I didn’t tell her anything. That feels important.

Next message:

“Like… why did you leave that information out??”

Then:

“I feel like you withheld key evidence.”

I take a sip of tea I don’t want and regret everything about it immediately.

Wine is needed.

Sharon continues.

“No, seriously.”

“Sue, he is actually ridiculous-looking. It’s almost rude in person.”

“I’m slightly annoyed.”

Another pause.

Then:

“No, I’m VERY annoyed.”

I don’t respond. There isn’t a response that improves this.

More messages come in faster now.

“His face???”

“Why is his FACE like that in real life?? That should be regulated.”

“This feels unfair.”

Then:

“And his hands are actually… I don’t even know how to say this politely. They’re doing something.”

I stop for a second at that one.

Because, of course, it’s his hands now.

Sharon follows immediately:

“You absolutely did not prepare me for the hands situation.”

I put the phone face down.

Buzz Buzz

From the hallway, Benji appears just long enough to hear the general tone of the messages coming through, then stops.

He doesn’t come in.

He just slowly backs away again like he’s avoiding exposure to something contagious.

Sharon keeps going.

“I need to recalibrate my expectations.”

“This is not a normal man.”

Then:

“I’m not blaming you, but I am also kind of blaming you.”

I don’t reply.

Another message straight after:

“I think I understand your entire experience now and… I have questions.”

Dan buzzes again.

Still not contributing.

Still somehow part of the atmosphere anyway.

Sharon Goes Silent

The messages stop.

That’s the first problem.

Sharon doesn’t really do silence in a normal way. If she stops, it usually means something else is happening instead.

I check my phone anyway.

Nothing.

Wait a bit.

Still nothing.

Buzzz

I’m not looking over.

I open a glass of wine instead of doing anything useful with the situation. It feels more appropriate.

I sit down.

Phone face up.

No messages.

From the hallway, Benji comes in and settles beside me without much ceremony.

He doesn’t look at the phone for long. Just enough to register that it’s still not doing anything.

Then, Relaxes as if the task were done.

“That’s when it shifts. Not in a good way.”

Not dramatic. Just wrong in a quiet way.

Buzzz

Benji shifts slightly but doesn’t react beyond that.

I take a sip of wine and wait.

Still nothing from Sharon.

Which is worse than anything she’s actually said.

Dan buzzes once more.

Oh, you’re very chatty tonight when we’re not having a quiet night.

Sharon Returns and Delivers Her Findings

The door goes.

No knock. Just straight in.

Sharon walks in like she’s still half somewhere else and only just remembered my flat exists.

She’s smiling.

Not polite smiling. Not social smiling. Fully committed smiling.

Buzzzz

She doesn’t look at him.

“I was right,” she says immediately.

I don’t respond. That feels safer.

“You undersold him,” she adds, already pacing.

“I didn’t describe him,” I say.

She waves that away like it’s irrelevant.

“No, not that. The framing. You left out context.”

Buzzz

Still ignored.

She stops pacing for a second.

“I don’t think I came down properly. I think I stayed up there.”

“That sits in the room longer than it should.”

Not dramatic. Just honest enough to be annoying.

She smiles like she’s slightly surprised she said it out loud.

“I didn’t want to leave it,” she adds.

I take a sip of wine.

Because that part is familiar. Uncomfortably so.

She sits down.

Lasts about four seconds.

Then stands again.

“I feel AMAZING. Like actually unreal. Like not baseline human.”

Not metaphorically. Just as a statement of fact.

Buzzz

Nobody acknowledges it.

Sharon starts pacing again, slower now.

“There’s a level of control,” she says. “Timing. Pressure. When to stop. When not to.”

I look at her.

“I don’t say anything to that.”

She keeps going anyway.

“And I kept thinking I should be coming back down by now. But I didn’t want to.”

That one lands differently.

Not loudly. Just accurately.

Dan buzzes once.

Still irrelevant.

Sharon looks at me properly now.

“You had that, didn’t you?” she says.

Not pushing. Just checking.

I don’t answer straight away.

I don’t need to.

She already knows.

I take another sip of wine.

Sharon leans back slightly like she’s finished processing it, then says:

“I’m going to tell the others.”

I don’t respond.

Because that sentence is never just a sentence.

Buzzz

Still present. Still not part of the conversation.

Section 6: WhatsApp Community Meltdown

I should have known it would spread.

It always spreads with Sharon.

There’s a pause after she leaves.

Not peace.

Just delay.

Then my phone lights up.

Sharon has posted.

“ATTENTION LADIES OF THE COMMUNITY”

That alone is enough to make my stomach tighten slightly.

Carol replies almost immediately.

“What’s going on??”

Linda follows.

“Is this about your appointment with Jake??”

Sharon:

“His hands are magical”

Janet appears next.

“I knew there was something about him”

Of course she did.

Everyone always did, apparently.

Sharon continues like she’s hosting something.

“He is absolutely as described; however, I must correct the record”

That line makes me stop.

“Correct the record is always a problem sentence.”

The replies escalate.

Carol: “Is he AVAILABLE”

Linda: “Can someone send details”

Janet: “What kind of technique are we talking about”

More wine, and I immediately wish I had more of it.

Sharon replies:

“I am not exaggerating”

“I was not prepared”

“I’m sorry, but he is EXTREMELY competent. That should be illegal levels of competence.”

That word again.

Competent.

Like, this is a technical briefing rather than whatever this has become.

The chat speeds up.

Requests for numbers.

Timing.

Availability.

Someone mentions a waiting list.

There is now a waiting list.

I stare at the screen.

This has stopped being a conversation. It’s booking enquiries.

Then Mark joins.

because he can.

Mark: “What have I missed then”

That’s all it takes.

Everything tilts.

Sharon replies instantly:

“You’ve missed EVERYTHING”

Then:

“This is not just a massage situation”

I put the phone face down.

I sit back.

And realise I’m going to have to live in the same building with all the gossipy details.

Sue the Observer

The group chat doesn’t slow down.

It’s like a tidal wave, unstoppable.

I stopped reading it properly after a while. There’s a point where it stops being information and starts being noise that wants a reaction.

My phone lights up again.

Sharon.

“I’ve had an idea.”

That’s scary, Sharon, with an idea

Before I can even decide not to engage, another message comes through.

“Actually no. This is happening.”

I stare at that for a moment.

Dan is quiet. Which I don’t trust.

The chat keeps going anyway.

Carol: “So what are we doing then??”

Linda: “We should organise properly”

Janet: “We can’t just leave this like this”

They always move faster once someone says “organise”.

Then Sharon again:

“Community Well Woman’s Evening.”

I read it once.

Then again, in case it changes.

It doesn’t.

Next message:

“7.30 pm at Sue’s flat.”

I put the phone down for a second.

Pick it back up.

Still there.

Another message follows immediately.

“Thursday.”

No question mark.

I don’t reply.

Not because I’m weighing it up. Because there isn’t anything in it for me to add.

Dan gives a small buzz from somewhere behind me.

I don’t turn around.

The chat continues without pause.

Carol: “That actually works for me”

Linda: “I can bring something”

Janet: “How many are we talking”

Mark: “This sounds serious, actually”

That one makes it worse. Because he’s not joking.

I put the phone face down.

The room is quiet again in the wrong way.

Not calm. Just decided without me.

And that’s the part that sits there.

Not the massage.

Not Sharon.

“My flat is now apparently a venue.”

“Dan buzzes again. I don’t even look at him. I leave him out of it.”

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